wow this week went fast. I wonder when this was intialky published

I am going to start my writer's workshop here and then just copy and paste it over. This is my creative non-fiction draft 1.

I held her hand and in it everything she was to me; mom, friend, stability, and home. She held her wooden cross from Charlotte. 

 I stayed close and hovered over. She longed for freedom from her ailing body, and rejected me. Her eyes would not open, she wouldn't speak, and finally she didn't grasp my hand. 

Her pain was gone and her faith remained. I read to her about her place in heaven, I sang to her songs that will haunt me forever, I can only imagine played and I lay by her side. Like a baby

I prayed to God all night to save my mom and spare us all the heartache, 

all in vain because this was meant to be. i thought she was improving one minute and the next, I knew she was dying.

 I sat up all that night, the first night it was just her and I. No hospice nurses there, no family friends to keep vigilence with me. Just me by her side and the four beautiful souls she was raising by the circumstance that their mother, my older sister was an addict and missing.

 Actually five, but the oldest had stayed out at a friends that night. I knew what was happening when she started to gasp, because I was told what to expect by hospice staff. I didn't want to believe it though. Gasp...gasp..gasp, like a fish out of water and then she was gone. 

I knew she was but I hugged what held my mom's spirit for 52 years and cried. Then I thought wait we didn't decide on a sign for her to let me know she is still here with us even on the other side.

 I was heartbroken, I felt my whole self shatter and become a different version of me, a version that would always deeply be missing someone.

 I checked the time...5:55 am, I went outside and heard a symphony of birds. That was the sign, and as I fell to my knees and cried.

A large bird landed near me and squaked until I looked up and wiped away my tears. 

I had to go inside and call hospice for help, and figure out how I was going to protect the kids upstairs from the heartache that I was feeling. I called hospice and my oldest nefew and told him to come home. Matthew this is it. Please come home. She birthday'd and partied til the end but she was gone.

Dylan was the first to get up but the youngest and he said to me, 'I know grandma was happy when she died because she was smiling'..smiling...

That was because Charlotte had the mind if my mom wanted open casket she would need her teeth, slapped them in as soon as she got there. What a friend, before ems even.

I Am Weirded the fuck out but that's why Dylan had that feeling she passed in peace. And he gave it to me. And I went to smoke. And cry but the birds wouldn't let me, I cried they squaked and I said this won't be easy. 

You are a legend Lisa. I love you and yes we had very good times. You taught me life and love. Deep love of life